


how i fall, and where you will catch me

by aswarmofbees



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 08:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aswarmofbees/pseuds/aswarmofbees
Summary: As Kise was scolded by their counselor, again, because his daughter stuffed beetles into Kasamatsu’s son’s backpack, again, he wondered if there was possibly any way to teach her that starting friendship did not entail tugging on someone’s figurative pigtails.It didn’t help that Kasamatsu Hiroki's father was already less than fond of him.orAU where Kise and Kasamatsu are single dads trying to raise their children, and their kids somehow manage to bring them together.





	how i fall, and where you will catch me

**Author's Note:**

> google docs said i created this may 14, 2015, so this fic has been collecting dust since then w the occasional touch-up when i got the motivation to edit it. i know i've been gone for forever but trust me i have lotsa kikasa wips (that i sincerely plan to complete) and more just waiting to be finished hhhh. i promise i'll eventually post them all but i'm severe abt my editing so. and the gaps in my publishing are frankly massive so i appreciate anyone who has stuck around omg.
> 
> it's just the kikasa tag has been so dead. anyway! i already have basically the rest of this fic written so no worries!! i will without a doubt finish this, bc it has a v special place in my heart tbh haha. hope u enjoy!! thank you!

“You need to teach your daughter to stop bullying,” Kasamatsu announced, turning his head to face him more clearly. His eyes were bright and sharp with a lingering, dormant ferocity. _Protective._

Kise narrowed his own eyes. “Don’t tell me how to raise my child,” he bit back harshly.

Kasamatsu set his jaw, chin jutting off to the side while his temper simmered. “I’ll stop when my son stops coming home crying to me after school.”

Kise faltered, and the slip of his expression satisfied Kasamatsu enough to turn forward again, losing interest in whatever vicious glaring contest they had going. He swallowed, gathered himself again (guiltily, he understood what Kasamatsu was saying, but telling him how to raise his kid hit a bit of a sore spot), and attempted to pick up some kind of response.

“Kise, Kasamatsu, enough.”

They both glanced over to Takeuchi-sensei, the gym teacher of their children.

“I understand that being single fathers is stressful on the both of you,” he continued, eyes lingering meaningfully on Kasamatsu for just a moment more, “but you need to work things out with each other.”

They both opened their mouths to protest (childish, the thirty-one and twenty-nine years olds realized), but Takeuchi interrupted them anyway. “This has happened too often, and while it wasn’t a concern in the beginning--just playful teasing, it seemed--the past few days it’s gotten worse. Kise, your daughter is outright bullying Kasamatsu’s son, and it needs to stop.”

Kise looked down, fingers fiddling with the fabric of his pants. “I do apologize for my daughter’s behavior,” he said, quietly, and saw Kasamatsu eye him warily from his peripherals. “But I don’t know why she’s acting like this. I don’t know what’s causing it.”

“And that’s why the two of you need to work it out together. We can’t exactly separate the classrooms specifically for them, so we’ll have to settle for an alternative that will hopefully solve everything.”

Confused, they found themselves looking at each other, furrowed brows and twisted lips like one of them would already know what Takeuchi was implying. They didn’t have enough time to be ruffled about turning to each other for answers before Takeuchi spoke up again.

“I think simply bringing your children to each other’s houses for a time will suffice. It will let not only them get to know each other, but you two as well.”

Kise blanched. “Takeuchi-san, I don’t think that’s--”

“That doesn’t sound--”

They both simultaneously exploded into sound, and proceeded to fall silent at the same time as well.

Kasamatsu spoke up again before Kise could. “I apologize, Takeuchi-san, but I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” he reasoned, and Kise found himself nodding in agreement. “I don’t think Hiroki would have the greatest influence, and I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Kise froze, and before he could even process another thought, _“Excuse me?”_ tore loudly through his throat as he stood from his seat, anger burning in his veins. “What exactly are you implying? That my daughter is going to beat your son up?”

Kasamatsu had been oddly unperturbed when Kise had jolted to his feet, but his last words had Kasamatsu rising slowly as well, lacking the advantage in height but making up for it with his larger-than-life presence. “Why shouldn’t I be concerned for my son’s well-being?” he retorted, sliding his arms across his chest.

Kise nearly bared his teeth, the overwhelming urge to defend and protect his daughter gnawing at his skin. “She has _never_ laid a _hand_ on Hiroki! Not once!” He clenched his fingers into his palm. “Are you really so desperate for an excuse that you’re trying to badmouth a six-year-old?”

Kasamatsu looked just about ready to smack him, and Kise would welcome it because he sorely wanted to knock his teeth out, too. “I never said physically hurt him, you moron! But she shouldn't be around him until she--!”

“Enough!”

With wide eyes, they both quickly focused their attention back onto Takeuchi, who was also out of his seat and looked about ready to strangle them both. “Sit down, both of you!” he boomed, and they both swallowed nervously, but obliged nonetheless. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think two children were bickering in front of me! What’s gotten into you both?”

Stubbornly, Kise glared sideways, and he could only assume Kasamatsu did the same. “Kise, you need to reign in that temper of yours.” Kise set his jaw. “And Kasamatsu…”

There was silence, and Kise faced forward again in disbelief. Takeuchi just couldn’t allow the other to get off with this scott-free. It took _two_ to argue.

“Kasamatsu, you were out of line,” he said finally, and Kise sagged slightly in relief. “Your concerns come from worry, I get that, but that was too much.”

Kise felt bitter that Kasamatsu had gotten a bandaid after Takeuchi’s lecturing, but he couldn’t really speak up about it. Really, what kind of sensei played favorites in this situation? It was just unfair.

Sighing loudly, Takeuchi ran a hand over his face. “Listen, either you two need to work together and solve this or nothing is going to change.”

He stared knowingly at both of them as they shamefully eyed their laps.

“Do it for your children.”

 

Kise didn’t want to do this. At all.

“Papa, are we really going to Hiro’s house? Does he have a playground in his backyard like we do?” Setsuko chimed in from the back seat, swinging her feet excitedly. “Does he have a lot of toys? Does he have any sisters or brothers?”

Surprisingly, his daughter hadn’t at all disliked the idea of visiting Kasamatsu and his son at their house. He expected kicking and fussing and yelling, the whole combo for her usual tantrums. But she for some reason lit up at the mention of visiting Kasamatsu’s son.

It was a little unsettling. Why was she so adamant on incessantly teasing and bothering the poor kid until he cried if all she wanted was to play with him? He could never get a solid answer out of her.

“Yes we are, and I’m not sure,” he replied, briefly glancing at her in the back from the rear-view mirror. “Papa hasn’t been to Hiroki-chi’s house yet either, so this will be fun and exciting for both of us!”

He tried to sound cheery, and he knew he succeeded to an extent, but he really didn’t want to see Kasamatsu again if he could avoid it. Suffering through their meetings was something he had to do though, for the sake of their kids.

“Hiro doesn’t have a mommy either, does he?”

Kise swallowed, feeling his heart skip a beat in surprise at the bold statement. He attempted to laugh it off, reaching back to pat her leg. “You say that like you don’t have one, honey! Mommy just… mommy is just away a lot, but she tries her best to always visit. She loves you just like I do, you know that, right?”

Setsuko didn’t respond immediately, focusing more on playing with the stuffed animal in her hands. “I know,” she mumbled eventually, but his answer didn’t completely satisfy her. Kise pulled his arm back.

“But you were right, Hiroki-chi’s mommy isn’t around either. But who knows! Maybe she’ll stop by for a visit when we come by next time!”

That had apparently been just the right thing to say, because Setsuko’s eyes lit up again, and it didn’t take another second before she was back to chattering excitedly about all the games she wanted to play with Hiroki.

 

“You remember I told you I might not be able to stay for long today, right?” Kise asked after getting out of his car, Setsuko’s hand in his. He'd parked directly behind Kasamatsu’s small sedan. “I don’t mean to--”

“I understand,” Kasamatsu replied gruffly, his son cradled against his hip. He muttered some words of encouragement in his ear, and it was enough to get the skittish child to peel his face from where it had been tucked against his neck. “It’s fine.”

The conversation ended abruptly, just like that, and it made Kise feel stupid for even bringing it up again because it of how awkward things had just gotten from it.

Kasamatsu cleared his throat, adjusting his son so he could lock the car. He didn’t say anything, but he stared at Kise for a moment before brusquely turning around and trailing up the walkway to his front steps. _Awkward._

The darkness of his house gave him a bit of a shock when he stepped through the door. Despite the sun shining brightly outside, the curtains were all completely sealed shut, leaving little brightness to envelop the room. It made the rooms look dreary, and it was mildly… depressing.

His daughter leapt away from him and dove onto one of the couches, immediately yanking the curtains apart to shed some light into the room. “Se--Setsuko!” he squawked. “We’re guests in this house, behave!”

“It’s quite alright,” Kasamatsu’s voice rumbled beside him, and he realized with a start that he had quietly drifted closer, maybe without even realizing.

His eyes were a little distant when he said, “This room could use a little light.”

And he couldn’t really argue with that. After Setsuko had torn the curtains apart, the sun gleaming through the window certainly made the place seem much more… homely. Welcoming.

“If anyone’s hungry, I can make us something to eat.” Kise trailed after Kasamatsu as he wandered further into the house, most likely with the kitchen as the destination. “The playroom is right--oh what the fu--”

Kasamatsu cut himself off before he could finish the curse, but that was just as well because another voice spoke up after him.

“Welcome home, sweetheart~!” a stranger greeted them, and Kise wound the corner to an unexpected sight and the smell of food already cooking.

A man in an apron glanced over when they entered the kitchen, looking over at Kise in surprise. “Oh, I didn’t know you brought a friend, hello there,” he said casually, like his presence was of no surprise, and like he wasn’t wearing a ridiculous apron that said read ‘ooh la la!’ in bright pink letters.

“My name is Moriyama," he introduced shamelessly. "I'm Yukio’s--”

“--friend,” Kasamatsu finished blandly for him. Astonished, both them watched as Hiroki came out of his shell at the other’s voice, peeling away from Kasamatsu’s arms and craning around to look at Moriyama.

Looking moderately betrayed, Kasamatsu let his son down so he could dart over and hug Moriyama’s legs, happily exclaiming, “Yoshi! Daddy didn’t say you were going to be here today!”

“That’s because ‘Yoshi’ never informed me he was visiting,” he grumbled irritably, glaring at his ‘friend.’ Moriyama grinned innocently and ruffled Hiroki’s hair. Hiroki beamed.

Setsuko stared at Hiroki with wide, interested eyes, her gaze just a little too intense for Hiroki to catch without flinching and hiding behind Moriyama’s legs.

Kise looked between them, considering. He was fairly certain that this man was actually Kasamatsu’s boyfriend, because 1. he apparently had the keys to his place, 2. he was cooking with an apron in his kitchen like he did this every day, 3. Hiroki had instantly recognized him, and was familiar enough to bravely dart over to him and away from the safety of his father’s arms, and 4. Moriyama had greeted Kasamatsu by calling him _sweetheart._

Maybe Kasamatsu was uncomfortable with admitting that he had a boyfriend, or didn’t trust that Kise wouldn’t be, well, ignorant about it.

Kasamatsu caught the contemplative look Kise gave the two of them and his eyes went wide, picking up the where his mind was soon enough. “No, no no we’re not--he’s not my--” he cut himself off, and Kise found the embarrassed flush that speckled over his nose and cheeks in hefty blotches surprisingly appealing on him.

He made sure to reel in that train of thought before it could travel any further.

“Having trouble on the word ‘boyfriend’, Yuki-chan?” Moriyama hummed, grinning like a chesire cat.

“Just shut _up_ , you godda--” Realizing he almost let loose another swear around younger ones, he struggled to find another choice of words.

Kasamatsu suddenly looked toward Kise like he somehow had a better answer, flustered and frustrated. It threw Kise off, a little bit. “He’s not my boyfriend, jesus, he’s just an annoying bas--annoying friend who doesn’t know when to stop _talking._ ”

Scandalized, Moriyama said he was at _least_ his best friend and he wouldn’t take anything less, no matter how much it broke his heart.

Kasamatsu turned back to glare at Moriyama. “Why are you even here? Stop randomly coming to my house.”

Moriyama’s mood shifted slightly after that, and it was nearly subtle enough for Kise to miss it. The kids certainly didn’t pick up on it.

“I didn’t know you had company,” he responded, eyeing Kise with slim, calculating eyes, “but I came over to cook because I don’t think you’ve been eating well.”

Kise felt something unsaid hang in the air, and, luckily or not, Setsuko darted off precisely after that, shouting “Adventure!” as she stomped down another hallway. Apparently she had been fed up with the boring ‘adult talk’, unlike Hiroki who seemed just fine where Moriyama had seated him on the countertop before.

The two didn’t quite respond as he chased after her with a surprised shout, but she was incredibly fast despite being as small as she was, and it took Kise a good amount of time to both find and catch her.

He discovered her standing in what seemed to be the master bedroom, most likely belonging to Kasamatsu, and he almost missed the shine of her eyes with how unbelievably dark the room was. “Setsuko! Don’t just go running off like that!” he scolded.

She didn’t respond, instead remaining completely silent and still in the depressing room. She looked… she looked a little shaken up.

“Papa, I don’t like this room,” she told him quietly, willingly climbing into his arms when he crouched down and opened them to her. She was trembling ever so slightly, to which Kise guessed was the result of her still unconquered fear of darkness. And with a room like this...

“I don’t either,” Kise agreed quietly, not hesitating before closing the door behind him with a click.

 

He calmed her down easily enough. Once she caught sight of light again, excitement slowly filled her and drowned out the fear until she was bouncing in his arms, nearly vibrating as she tried to contain herself.

Quiet arguing sounded from where Kise remembered the kitchen to be, tense and startlingly serious.

“You don’t need to be here, Yoshitaka, I said that I’m fine,” Kasamatsu’s voice insisted, but the other, his friend--Moriyama?--was quick with his rebuttal.

“Yes I do, and no you’re not.” He could almost feel Kasamatsu’s responding glare, and he selfishly wished that he could have taken just a bit more time in finding his daughter. What the hell kind of drama was he getting himself into?

“I said--”

“When was the last time you ate? Changed your sheets? Have you even--?”

“I am not a _child_ , will you--!”

“I’ll stop when I need to--!”

Setsuko blew their cover with a deafening, “Papa, I want to go outside! They have swings!” while Kise tried to shush her, telling her to watch the volume of her voice.

Silence filled the kitchen in response, and Kise breathed a sigh of relief now that their argument had ceased.

When he braved wandering back in, the heaviness of the atmosphere unfortunately remained, tense enough for Kise to feel like any stuttered breath would have him choking on the air.

It was like he walked in right before a bomb had been about to strike zero, but his and Setsuko’s presence had stalled its imminent bursting. They had messily yanked and scrambled the wires until the explosion derailed into a sudden hiatus, as if its time had been frozen until someone decided to pull apart the tangled insides again and let the bomb start its countdown yet again.

Yet Kasamatsu was leaning over the other side of the counter while Hiroki happily played with something at the table, and Moriyama continued to quietly cook like nothing was amiss.

Awkwardly, he announced himself. “She saw a swing set in the backyard... do you think I could take her outside to play? She gets antsy after being inside too long.”

Kasamatsu opened his mouth to speak but Moriyama beat him to it.

“But of course! Go out and play, the four of you! Lunch will be ready in… hmm, twenty minutes?” He spotted Setsuko and grinned up at her. “If you manage to beat my record of getting to the swing in under thirty seconds, I’m sure I can find some dessert for you guys, too.”

Moriyama’s eye flit up to Kise. “As long as it’s okay with Dad.”

Setsuko’s mouth plopped open and her eyes widened, followed by her nodding furiously. Squirming, she struggled to reach the floor in Kise’s hold, grabbing onto his hand and attempting to tug him to the door.

Kasamatsu stared at Moriyama, eyes narrowed, but the other paid him no mind. With a sigh, Kasamatsu walked over to Hiroki and crouched to his height.

“Hey, did you hear that? Yoshi says he’ll whip you guys up some dessert!” Hiroki looked up at his father but struggled to respond. “All you have to do is come play outside with all of us!”

Nervously, Hiroki glanced over at Setsuko, who had paused in her struggles of dragging Kise away.

She grinned widely at him. “Come on, Hiro! Let’s _go!_ ”

Both he and Kise looked at each other with wide eyes, expecting a more aggressive approach from his daughter. The whole reason they had even been forced into making these playdates, anyway, was because of Setsuko and how her tireless teasing had gone too far. Maybe all she really needed was to a change of scenery to realize Hiroki just needed space and patience.

Kasamatsu turned his attention back on his son, and his eyes went completely soft. “Give it a try--I promise she doesn’t bite.” He glanced up at Kise for a moment before turning back to him.

His voice dropped into an easy whisper. “Daddy won’t let anything happen to you, okay? I will always protect you--you’re safe with me.”

Kise rolled his lips together at the sight, nearly harboring a toothache from how utterly sweet and gentle and loving he was being. He’d always seen him as this gruff, disgruntled older man who never managed to swipe the frown from his lips for more than a second or two, but with his son he was... he was so _kind_ and patient that it was almost unnerving.

It registered that he’d probably been staring too long when Kasamatsu was already walking past his frozen form, son in tow, “Let’s go, then,” and he hadn’t even realized he’d fully convinced Hiroki to tag along. Just where had his mind even wandered?

Dumbly, Kise watched as Kasamatsu breezed by, and--oh, he smelled kind of nice... wait, no, that wasn’t--

He snapped back into reality. “R--Right! Let’s go!”

Moriyama chuckled at the spectacle he made of himself, and Kise stared at the impromptu chef in confusion, mildly flustered by his sudden halt in motor functions.

Setsuko was still tugging at his wrist in an attempt to drag him away. “Papa!” she called, not sounding amused in the slightest. “Hurry _up_ , he’s going to steal my swing--forget it, you’re useless!”

She gave up on him and ran off after the two, and only then did Kise manage to follow after all of them.

 

To his surprise, things were running very smoothly--Setsuko had only been too aggressive with Hiroki once, and after Kise stepped in and told her that she was scaring him, she backed off with a sincere, albeit confused, apology.

He and Kasamatsu on the other hand…

They were sitting at the table on the patio, watching their kids play together and eying them for any mishaps. No conversation had really budded for either of them, and while Kasamatsu might not have been bothered by the silence, it made Kise awfully uncomfortable.

He decided to finally speak up.

“So, does your ex-wife get to come see Hiroki on the weekends or something?” Kise asked, curious. In all honestly, he still really didn’t care for getting on better terms with the closed-off, short-tempered and frankly bland man (even if he proved to be not a grouch and kind of cute sometimes), but if it’d help Setsuko and Hiroki, then--well, he was overly willing to sacrifice. At the very least, they could make some small-talk.

Kise missed the widening of Kasamatsu’s eyes and the way his body stilled, too caught up in keeping track of his mischievous daughter who was sure to try something dangerous at any given moment.

Kise continued. “Suzu, my ex-wife, comes to visit sometimes.” He wondered how far he should divulge in his own story; this was, after all, only their first get-together with their kids, and dumping his whole history on him didn’t really seem appropriate. He pursed his lips, taking the easy route. “It’s complicated.”

For a brief moment, he glanced at the other father who was oddly silent, muscles tense and tight like he was ready to bolt at any given moment.

Kise scowled. He was just making the entire situation more awkward than it had to be; it wasn’t like Kise was asking about some weird kind of stuff, anyway! Was he just always socially awkward?

“So, I guess she doesn’t visit often? That’s--”

He was cut off by the loud blare of his phone, expected, but not happily so. Checking the caller ID, it read Suzu, and Kise sighed. Well, he had warned Kasamatsu that their play date might have to be cut short, but he didn’t think it would be by this wide of a margin. He’d only been there for maybe half an hour.

He stared at Kasamatsu for just a moment before he wandered off to answer the phone, and after less than a minute, he returned with apologies and a goodbye, “Suzu has time on her schedule and wants to stop by my place for a visit, sorry, Kasamatsu-san,” and a promise to return again for an extended visit.

As he departed, he wondered if he had really heard Kasamatsu whisper his answer before Kise left to respond to his call. He must’ve been imagining it, because he didn’t think Kasamatsu’s voice had the ability to fathom that particular sadness tethered to the soft breathlessness of his words; it was nearly silent and not angry and everything that just wasn’t--wasn’t Kasamatsu.

_“I wish she could.”_

 

When Kise visited Kasamatsu’s house next, there were no kids attached to their hips: Hiroki was with Moriyama and another friend named Kobori, and Setsuko was with her mother. This time, they were just going to share each other’s company, as insisted by Takeuchi-sensei.

_“I’m glad that the two of them are getting better,” he had told them the other day, “but now I think you two could use some work. It’s all going to be pointless if you two don’t even like each other. Kids pick up on that kind of stuff, you know.”_

Kise tried to say that, well, he didn’t particularly hate Kasamatsu, after all, he just... well, he didn’t feel like it was necessary for any closeness between them. His personality didn’t match up with his at all, and getting buddy-buddy with him was kind of superfluous.

Takeuchi told them they didn’t have to be best friends, but.

_“At least put some effort into it, and if it doesn’t work out--then you can both say you gave it a shot.”_

And a shot he would give it.

Kise glanced at the paper bag in his hands, a heavy contrast between the light wine and heavy sake bottles in his hand.

A shot indeed. Or several shots, if they needed it.

 

“Oh you--you don’t want to see me drunk,” Kasamatsu said as Kise pulled out the bottles, a little surprised. Kise said he’d bring some wine and Kasamatsu agreed that was fine, so the sake was an added surprise.

Kise felt mildly embarrassed. “Ah, yeah, I just figured, y’know, it’s there if we wanted to.” He chuckled quietly, but Kasamatsu didn’t join in. And now the awkward air would hit them, tense and--

“Okay.”

Shocked, Kise turned to look at him more clearly. He dragged his arm up so he could rub the back of his head, fingers sliding through his short black hair. “Yeah, okay. We’ll see what happens.”

He turned back to focus on Kise again, and the attention was a little intense for him, because Kise wasn’t really expecting Kasamatsu to _not_ clash with him. He remembered just how awful their very first meeting had been, and every time Kasamatsu’s actions didn’t match up to that part of their history, it threw him for a bit of a loop.

Kasamatsu tilted his head slightly to the side, eyes a little rounder, a little softer than he remembered; they were more open, in that sense. His gaze was usually sharp and piercing, guarded, so this was-- _oh._

“I’ll pay for half,” he added when Kise failed to respond, tongue flicking to wet his lips. Why could he suddenly not use his words? Why did that motion suddenly divert the entirety of his attention span? “You don’t have to buy both of those.”

Kise answered by blurting, “Do you have a bathroom?”

He didn’t actually need to use the bathroom, he just needed some space for a bit, some air. Seeing Kasamatsu in this new, different light, one that didn’t have him dreading their meetings, was--the sudden transition was a bit overwhelming.

Kasamatsu blinked. “Yeah. Down the hall on the right.”

Kise made his escape hasty, but he hoped it wasn’t hasty enough to leave a bad impression behind. What had gotten into him?

 

Kise, unsurprisingly, got sidetracked.

He wholeheartedly blamed his insatiable curiosity for slipping further down the hallway instead of back to the kitchen where Kasamatsu waited. To himself, he insisted that he just needed to walk around a little, just to get the full effect to help him calm down for being in Kasamatsu’s home, just the two of them, at night, with alcohol and no kids.

His feet led him back to the master bedroom he’d stumbled upon a few days ago when he’d last visited with Setsuko, and she’d been a little scared of its content.

The door was only slightly ajar, and Kise pressed his fingertips against it, slowly nudging it open. Luck, for once, was actually on his side, and no sound of loud creaking greeted his ears as the door slowly swung on its hinges.

Kise had to blink for his eyes to adjust. Apparently, the room hadn’t changed at all, still dark and unfathomably depressing, and it didn’t help that it was darker outside with no light to shine through the blinds.

One glance at the window told him that it wouldn’t do much good anyway, because the blinds were closed, curtains draped over them to keep out any source of wandering light. He kind of wanted to open them, peel the window back just to get some new air--it didn’t smell bad in the room, but it wasn’t exactly fresh.

“Why are the windows closed, it’s still nice outside…” he muttered to himself.

Kise jumped at the loud clank of dishes down the hall, followed by the sound of the faucet running. Hand over his heart, he thought that he really should go back, he had been gone for a few minutes, probably. But--

...why was his room so… so messy? Kasamatsu was an adult, seemed like very responsible one at that, but his room...

It wasn’t a catastrophe, but he had a basket full of dirty laundry and various clothes scattered lightly over the floor. His bed wasn’t made, blankets and sheet crumpled atop the mattress, and there was a bit of garbage (crinkled papers) on his dresser.

Glancing behind him to check for the other, he wandered further into the room when an empty hallway greeted him. He never thought he would be one to snoop and he wanted to blame Kasamatsu for being mysterious and brood-y and bringing out this side of him.

He was genuinely about to leave when he spotted something on the dresser, rectangular with a small stand folded against it. Curiosity rising anew, he walked over, picking it up and realizing that it was actually a picture frame. The front was a little dusty, despite being face-down, and Kise quietly blew the grime away.

Three people were standing happily in the picture of what seemed to be Kasamatsu’s backyard, but the swing set wasn’t there yet, and the grass was considerably greener. Kasamatsu looked much younger, much happier, and the way his wide, toothy smile caused his eyes to crinkle shut was a _very_ attractive feature on him.

Nowadays, unless he was around his son, he didn’t seem to smile much anymore.

It made Kise frown just thinking about it.

There was a woman beside him, just as cheerful with her lips parted in a hearty laugh, a small bundle cradled in her arms. Kise thought he was correct to assume that it was a baby Hiroki with his mother, probably six or seven years ago by the looks of how tiny he was. Her head was leaning on top of Kasamatsu’s shoulder--she was tall enough to do so, anyway.

He wondered the reasoning as to why the frame had been face-down. Had Kasamatsu and his ex-wife ended things poorly? Was the break-up bad enough to warrant Kasamatsu removing pictures of the family of three from the house, going as far to leave this picture face down and unseen?

“Lost?”

Kise leapt about half a foot in the air, heart instantaneously thundering away in his chest. Shamefully, and with blatant regret, he turned around to fully face Kasamatsu.

The blank face he gave betrayed what he was really feeling; Kise could see annoyance from the tenseness of his form, anger from his fingers gripping tightly at his biceps, feigned nonchalance by his shoulder leaning against the doorframe.

Kise swallowed heavily, accepting the unwanted fact that there was no way he could subtly put away the frame in his hands in a way Kasamatsu wouldn’t notice. “I--uh…”

Apparently Kasamatsu wanted him to suffer, because he didn’t say anything, instead allowing Kise to choke on his words as he waited for a proper, coherent response. Kise put the picture back onto the tabletop, adjusting the stand so it was facing up.

“I’m sorry,” Kise said, sincerely apologetic, and bowed deeply to him. “My curiosity got the best of me, and I wandered in here.” He stayed like that a few seconds before leaning back up. “I really am very sorry, I shouldn’t have snooped.”

Kasamatsu watched him, more in wonder than in anger, and it was mildly unnerving. He expected him to lash out, to yell and get understandably upset with him for poking his nose where it didn’t belong.

Maybe he was really just trying to make this thing work, too.

“Well, I already opened the wine--if you feel like wandering off again, I’d suggest wandering into the living room.”

Kise mouth dropped as Kasamatsu left without another word.

 

“You’re shitting me. There’s no way in hell that actually happened.”

Kise laughed loudly--a little too loudly--and leaned forward excitedly. “No--No, I’m not even exaggerating, I swear,” he said, waving his arms in front of him like he was swatting away any shreds of dishonesty.

“The sharpie on Aomine-cchi’s face didn’t come off for over a week, and his boss just kind of rolled with it. He was forced to do desk work for a while, because the criminal he was chasing at the time nearly got hit by a car because he couldn’t stop laughing at this--this huge dick on his forehead.”

Kasamatsu shook his head like he didn’t believe him, but a smile caused his teeth to shine past his lips, and all too soon he was back to laughing without a care in the world, falling back against the couch as he struggled to catch his breath.

Kise followed suit, Kasamatsu’s loud, infectious voice quick to make his own sides hurt from his laughing so hard. Tears collected at the corners of his eyes, and his face started to ache from smiling so wide and so hard.

The silence that washed over them after they calmed down was warm, pleasant and left Kise feeling more relaxed than he’d been in a while. It was a little weird, when just yesterday he’d been concocting wild ideas just to get himself out of visiting today, settling only when he realized he could get a little drunk and loosen up instead of have everything be awkward and stiff again.

But now he found he didn’t mind his company. He was _enjoying_ it.

Maybe that was why they were getting along so well right now, but Kise wasn’t really anything over slightly tipsy, so he really doubted that.

Kasamatsu, on the other hand, was more far gone than he, face hot and eyes lidded, neck tilted over the curve of the couch with a ghost of a smile over his lips. He expected a steel tolerance for alcohol from him, but he had been wrong about people before.

He’d been so adamant in avoiding any type of contact with him that leaned anywhere in the direction of friendship, his interpretations of who Kasamatsu was dissuading him, when all along he probably could have been enjoying his presence. Just like this.

“Hey,” Kasamatsu called, and Kise turned his attention back on him, meandering thoughts vanishing.

He rolled his neck to look at Kise directly, and Kise was mildly flattered that the mere sight of him seemingly had Kasamatsu’s smile widening exponentially. It was reminiscent of the carefree grin he had in that picture Kise found, and his heart stuttered in his chest.

“W--What?” he replied, cursing his fumble.

Kasamatsu didn’t really reply, just stared at him some more, intent and focused despite the haze of his buzz. It had Kise’s cheeks warming, and he was mildly concerned that the culprit wasn’t the alcohol.

“Mmm,” he mumbled.

 _Okay then,_ Kise thought, wondering if the way Kasamatsu’s pretty eyes were fluttering shut was his cue to leave. He was about to stand when Kasamatsu finally spoke up again.

“I’m sorry.”

Surprised, Kise looked back at him. _Sorry?_ “Sorry for what?” He paused. “If you’re talking about getting drunk, that’s fine--you warned me anyway, so it’s--”

“No,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “I’m--” He twisted his lips and Kise waited. “When we first met. I’m sorry for that. For--all of that.”

Kise inhaled quickly. That… was not at all what he expected. “Kasamatsu-san--”

“No, let me apologize,” he argued, leaning away from the back of the couch. He pressed his elbows into his thighs, hands coming to clasp together over his knees. His body swayed slightly. “I’ve wanted to--wanted to apologize for a while, because you didn’t deserve that.”

“Really, it’s okay--”

“It isn’t.”

Kise rubbed his palms over his knees, suddenly hot and just a little damp. “Listen, Kasamatsu-san,” he started, “that happened over a month ago. And while I wish that we hadn’t met like that--”

“--wished that I hadn’t been a complete asshole,” he interrupted with a frown, voice low and frustrated.

Kise gave a small smile, and it was surprisingly not at all forced. “Something like that.”

Kasamatsu rolled his eyes (something that had him tilting backward slightly, hands flying out to balance himself again), knowing that that was what Kise had been thinking all along but just hadn’t said it aloud.

“It already happened. So, whatever for now. I get to see you being embarrassingly drunk, so that kind of makes up for it.”

Kasamatsu scowled, and the familiar sight had Kise’s chest filling with warmth. “Everyone has their bad days--I’ve had my fair share, so I’d be a hypocrite if I stayed mad at you forever.”

“A bad day, huh,” he muttered, voice light and airy. “Yeah, that was--definitely a bad day.”

His eyes fell halfway.

“That… that day had been exactly a month since my wife--since she…”

Kise felt his mouth fall open at the admission, voice catching in his throat. “Oh,” Kise mouthed, not sure what to say.

He and Suzu had been separated for over a year, so he’d gotten mostly used to the divorced life, but this wound was still fresh on Kasamatsu, still sore and in the process of healing. And to add to it, he and Suzu had slowly fallen out of love, and he wasn’t entirely sure if that had been the case with Kasamatsu.

“I--I had no idea, I’m so--”

“No, no don’t you apologize too,” he interrupted, a forced smile carving one side of his mouth upward. It made Kise want to pity him, almost. “That’ll ruin my moment.”

He probably expected some more humor out of Kise, some kind of playful retort because they both knew how much he hated awkward air, but he stayed silent. This wasn’t the time to play something off without a care, and Kise knew when stay serious.

Kasamatsu’s grin fell, as did his eyelids. “I just wanted to give you some kind of… expl… explanation, for…” His voice wandered away from him, and his tired limbs nearly gave out and made him faceplant into his carpet. “I wasn’t in the bets--best of m--moods, so I--”

Kise had risen off of the couch and toward Kasamatsu halfway through his sleepy ramblings, and he managed to snag the blanket from the top of the seat by the time Kasamatsu cut himself off.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kise said softly, putting the blanket to the side for now. He debated whether or not he should ease Kasamatsu down to lay on the couch. “Just go to sleep, Kasamatsu-san. It’s late, anyway.”

It turned out he didn’t have to, because the other did so himself, allowing his body to tiredly tilt sideways and plop fully over the cushions.

“Yukio… you should call me Yukio,” he told him as Kise was covering him with a blanket, and Kise had to actively avoid the vulnerable, genuine honesty in his eyes if he didn’t want the thundering pulse of his heart to drown out his hearing.

He wished Kasamatsu realized how much power he held in his gaze, and he wished he knew that he was apparently susceptible to it. This was a new and entirely unexpected revelation.

He forced a laugh. “We’ll see if you still think that way in about twelve hours,” he said. “I--I’m gonna go now, Kasamatsu-san. I’ll see you later--”

“You’re leaving?”

Kise breathed in sharply at the blatant disappointment clinging to his words. He smiled tightly. “I have to get going. I don’t want it to get too dark out before I head out.”

“Stay, then,” he murmured sincerely into the arm of the couch, breathing slowly evening out. Kise bit his lip. He didn’t add anything else, and Kise could only assume that he’d fallen asleep.

Instinctively, Kise reached to pull the blanket up around Kasamatsu’s shoulders, freezing when he let out a soft sound in his sleep, something between a hum and a groan that made Kise quickly snatch his hand back.

He allowed himself to watch Kasamatsu for only a second more, confused, debating, and a hint of sudden longing that he didn’t really want to think too much into right then. He hurried out of the door before he really did end up taking him up on that offer.

**Author's Note:**

> edit: yknow i realize now that u prob wouldn't carry a 6yo against ur hip bc they're like. anywhere from 40" to 48" and that is a big kid to lug around. but i thought it was a cute thing to picture and never investigated it ie asking my dad who gave me a look like 'why would u carry someone that big they can walk on their own'
> 
> BUT i don't have kids idk these things so pls pretend it makes sense w me 


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